Is my book worth sending to a publisher?
Question by hiddenadmisttheshadows: Is my book worth sending to a publisher?
This is chapter one
In the quiet, forgotten city of Monteviso, dark, ominous clouds billowed through the sky as the full moon, stained crimson, struggled to light the streets.
Uncovered by the illumination, bodies cluttered the dirt roads. Flesh filled coagulation formed a ghastly blanket over the victims and claw marks spread along their bodies. The still seeping wounds were the only visible source of injury.
Set apart from the rest laid a teenage body, untouched except for a single bullet hole in his skull. His bloody hand rested on an angelic statue in the center of the city.
Underneath the town statue, a long staircase twisted and wound deep underground to a large wooden door. Inside, scrolls and paintings lined the walls and bottled peculiarities rested in large wood cabinets. The cabinets welcomed a fine layer of dust as if untouched for decades.
In the center of the room lay a rug thrown back to reveal another staircase. After a seemingly endless journey downstairs the simple cavern transformed into a large, immaculate temple. Statues and paintings of angels, each masterfully constructed and maintained, concealed the walls of the room.
A fine trail of blood led to the back of the temple where broken statues and freshly torn flesh painted the floors. A faint cry emanated from the rubble of a grand statue, piercing the once eerie silence of the enclosure.
Underneath the debris lay the mangled bodies of a man and a woman. Flesh dangled from deep lacerations up and down their bodies, but in the woman’s arms, a toddler boy protected from the ensued violence, cried out in pain. A demonic symbol branded his hairless head.
Out of the shadows crept a man garbed in a black robe that gingerly brushed the ground. His stature was erect and powerful, each stride toward the chaos more graceful than the last. The woman’s grasp held her child tightly to her chest, but in an instant her arms dropped as her final word passed along her trembling lips. “Lucian…”
He gently plucked the infant from his mother’s grasp and wrapped him in a cloth from his cloak. The man leaned forward, shutting her eyelids before dashing out of the chamber and up the stairwell.
The man burst through the statue, reducing it to rubble as the teenage body flew through the air with a cloud of dust. He held Lucian tight as he darted through the streets, past various shambled buildings.
An isolated stable stood strangely undamaged with a black horse waiting patiently inside. Entering the building, the man urgently needed to tend to the mark that was rapidly spreading across the toddler’s body.
Unwrapping the wailing child the man realized, to his horror, that the mark had already consumed his head. Quickly, he reached into his robe and pulled out a card with foreign words inscribed along the edges. Placing it on Lucian’s head, the paper glowed blue as it sank into his forehead.
The mark dramatically shrank, but did not disappear. Lucian’s pain slowly subsided as his cries turned to deep breaths. The world blurred as he lost consciousness.
Flawlessly, the man leaped onto the horse and began galloping out of the city and into the deepening sky.
Best answer:
Answer by Peter Zini Papastamatis
Yes & No…
Maybe some more work on it ,some “spicy” vocabulary
Give your answer to this question below!
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Comments
…Well, if I were to give some con crit, I’d say that you have a shit ton of purple prose going on here. Maybe you should try to streamline your ideas a little better?
As an FYI, it is basically impossible to send a manuscript into a publisher and actually have them read it unless you have an agent to speak for you. If you’re serious about becoming a professional author, you should focus on that first.
I think its good,but maybe you need to add a little more. It kind of goes on and on.. Sorry, thats just my opinion. But i agree with the person above me. It ia good though. Good Luck!!!:D
That’s really good! It sounds more like a movie to me. I hope it gets published into a book!
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